eff, yes. // Cross Stitch Pattern (NSFW) // PDF

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  • £6.00

Description

IMPORTANT INFO RE HOW YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR PATTERN (pattern details are just a bit further down):

How to purchase

After ordering, you will receive the PDF via email manually from me. This is for VAT/tax reasons, I am unable to offer automatic downloads. You must ensure the email address you are using is valid as I will be using it to send you the PDF. 

You will receive an order confirmation email first automatically - this will not contain the PDF. I will be emailing patterns at least once a day, except for when I'm on holiday (please check here for holiday dates). Please do remember that if you're an international customer and you have ordered when I'm asleep in my time, I won't be able to send your email until the next day. Please also remember to check your junk folder in case the PDF email has been put in email jail.

If you haven't received the email with the attachment from me within 24 hours of ordering (and I'm not on holiday) please do get in touch so I can advise you when it was sent, try sending it again, and investigate if anything has gone awry. 

What will I receive?

You will receive a PDF version of the pattern - nothing physical will be sent to you (neither a paper copy, nor a stitched hoop... this is a pattern for you to make your own cross stitch pattern).

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fuck, yes.

A subversive neon rainbow cross stitch pattern designed to fit a 7 inch hoop. Neon hand dyed semi-solid embroidery yarn recommended because of the uniqueness it brings, but not essential!

Technical info and requirements to consider before you buy the pattern

Yarn/thread

This pattern was designed with my 10 skein Neon Saturated Rainbow Embroidery Yarn Bundle, and will look its neon best if stitched with those embroidery yarns. One of these bundles will make far more than just this one pattern. You can of course use your own stranded cotton palette if you’d prefer. Alternative suggestions are given below.

You will also need some stranded cotton for backstitching to match the colour of your Aida – in my test stitch, I used white sparkly Aida, so I used one strand of DMC BLANC for all of the backstitching. If you were using black Aida, you would use DMC 310 (black), or if you’re using a watercolour blue Aida, pick a blue to match, etc.!

Materials

14 count Aida – I recommend a 10-10.5 inch square for stitching in a 7 inch hoop. The design area is 87 x 87 stitches (without a border) to help you calculate your material size if you’d like to use a smaller Aida/Evenweave with stranded cotton.

I would not recommend going smaller than 14 count if using my yarns, due to the strand thickness.

I stitched this in a 7 inch hoop leaving an edge around the design, but you could alternatively fit it into a 6 inch hoop once finished which would likely give no gap around the edge, if you’d like the colours to go right up to the frame with no edge (I have no 6 inch hoops, so have not been able to attest to this).

A size 24 needle works well with my yarn

Stranded cotton alternatives

Please do note, this is an untested palette – it’s quite hard to find exact replacement colours for my bright neon rainbow in the stranded cotton colours available, so take the suggestions below and adjust them as necessary for your preferred rainbow outcome:

 

#1 Pink - DMC 3805, Cyclamen Pink
#2 Coral Orange – DMC 608, Burnt Orange
#3 Light Orange – DMC 740, Tangerine
#4 Yellow – DMC 973, Canary Bright
#5 Light Green – DMC 704, Chartreuse Bright
#6 Blue Green – DMC  959, Sea Green Medium
#7 Aqua Blue – DMC  3846, Bright Turquoise Light
#8 Periwinkle – DMC 3840, Lavender Blue Light
#9 Lavender – DMC 340, Blue Violet Medium
#10 Purple – DMC 3607, Plum Light

 

Please note that when ordering through this website, the portion of your order which is for the PDF is non-refundable after the PDF has been emailed to you. This does not affect your right to cancel any part of your order which is for yarn/physical products before I have shipped it.

Tracey.

Please note that I am currently working carefully with a hand injury (taking time off when I need to), so everything is happening a little bit slower - this includes packing ready to ship orders. 

 

Order processing times (delivery cost info below, scroll down)

I am a neurodivergent creator living and working with chronic health conditions - I've been running this business since 2017, fulfilling thousands of orders in that time, and I mostly manage everything reasonably well despite health setbacks. Sometimes flare ups may slow me down a bit, so please do allow me a little 'wiggle room' for your order, to enable me to pace myself if I am feeling more unwell than usual on any given day 🩷

I will of course communicate my expected order processing times to you if I'm having difficulties or if I've had a large volume of orders to work through, if I find I'm pushing into what I consider 'overdue' territory (usually 3 weeks since you placed the order), but if you're unsure what's happening with your order at any time, please do just email me to ask 🤗 

Please also check your junk folder for any shipping confirmation before getting in touch about an overdue order, as some email providers like to put me there.

Current lead times

The current lead time for shipping yarn which is Dyed To Order is 2-4 weeks (unless a more specific preorder date was stated on the product listing). My average time to post DTO is around 2 weeks after your order, but it could be sooner, or later, depending on the volume of DTO orders I'm working through at any time.

Anything you have purchased which is Ready To Ship doesn't mean immediate despatch, but it does mean I'll usually get them posted within 7-10 days for you. I do usually post them within a week, but I've extended the lead time up to 10 days as I've started listing a bit more RTS stuff recently, so naturally I have more RTS orders to work through! If I've had a little rush of RTS orders all at once, this is where the extended lead time will come in, as there is only so much I can work through in one day, and I'm the only person doing all of the work.

Pattern purchases

After ordering, you will receive the PDF via email manually from me. You must ensure the email address you are using is valid as I will be using it to send you the PDF. I will be emailing them at least once a day. Please bear in mind that if you're an international customer with a time difference, I won't be able to email your pattern until I'm awake and out of bed!

Upcoming holidays which may impact orders 

Nothing planned, maybe a day off here and there which shouldn't impact orders too much!

 

Customs/VAT

Customers are responsible for all customs VAT/duties fees on receipt of Goods. 

None of my prices include VAT, so you may be charged VAT by your country's customs authorities before the parcel will be released to you, according to the goods value threshold in your country. I am not in control of this, and I do not control the admin fees you may incur on top of the VAT charges. Please take this into account when ordering.

 

Delivery information by region

UK orders

UK parcel P&P is currently £4.00 on orders up to £79.99, free postage applies for UK orders over £80. All are sent tracked with Royal Mail.

Europe - no shipping available

I am currently unable to ship to Europe, please accept my sincere apologies. If I am able to change this in future, I will in a heartbeat.

International orders excl. Europe

Please note, I will try to keep orders over 2kg in one parcel, but they may be split into multiple parcels if the size goes over the maximum dimensions.

Below is a table of postage costs based on the weight of your order. I will refund any overage of P&P you paid at the time of ordering after I have generated the postage label (though most of the prices below are at a slight loss to me, so overages are unlikely).

Order weight P&P cost
0g - 250g £10.00
251g - 500g £13.00
501g - 750g £15.00
751g - 1kg £18.00
1001g - 2kg £20.00
2kg+ £30.00

Care instructions

I would always recommend hand-washing in cool water to keep your finished items in good condition for as long as possible, though with any Superwash yarn you can of course pop it into the washing machine if required (I have washed my socks on occasion in the washing machine, they're still looking good colour-wise, but I only do it maybe once or twice a year, doing hand-washes for the most part).

Bleeding and crocking

Before we begin, bleeding and crocking are totally normal (though don't necessarily happen with every colourway or every skein) and can occur with both hand dyed and commercially dyed yarns. They happen when loose dye particles which couldn't heat set into the already-saturated yarn come out in water (bleeding), or onto your hands as you're working with it (crocking).

I rinse as many excess dye particles out of my yarn after it has finished the heat setting process as I can, but due to the way some dye particles behave, there could always be some left behind that will release during the lifetime of the yarn. They may not always come out in that first rinse, despite thorough rinsing before it leaves me and gets to you ❤️

Bleeding: I don't usually encounter any bleeding when I block my yarn swatches, or any finished objects I actually complete in my yarn (using a light amount of Soak, always in cold water), but due to the nature and behaviour of some dyes, and other variables such as the hardness of your water compared to mine, you might find some bleeding may occur when soaking.

You can use a colour-catcher when you are soaking your finished item to try to catch loose dye particles which may bleed out of the yarn. 

Crocking: I also don't usually encounter any crocking, but this is said to vary for each crocheter/knitter as per the pH on your hands (and if you've recently used any hand cream). Any dye transferred onto your hands while working with any yarn will wash off with soap.


Sheep welfare

The yarn wholesalers I use are committed to sourcing all of their wool from farms which comply with high animal welfare standards.

My main yarn base - BFL, Bluefaced Leicester - is a British breed of sheep and is all sourced from individual farms in the UK by the British Wool Marketing Board, and graded to ensure its high quality.

Any Merino I use is certified as mulesing free, mainly from Australia, and they source the remainder from South America and South Africa where mulesing is not practiced. Their Kid Mohair is sourced from South Africa, and Alpaca is from Peru from small family owned smallholdings.

Superwash

The Superwash yarns I use are treated using the Hercosett process, and my wholesalers only use reputable companies to superwash their fibres, who hold ISO14001 accreditation and/or engage in best practice with regard to environmental performance and waste water treatment and re-use.


If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to get in touch using the Contact form.

Tracey 🌈

Email me at tracey@traceymustard.com, or submit your query here.